Murray River Punch: The Soup
Brunswick Street Gallery, Melbourne (2014)

Murray River Punch the Soup.jpg

Following the ‘droughts and flooding rains’ of the Naughties, the Mighty Murray has settled. Epicormic shoots hide the incidental splatter of dead trees - gentle reminders of Nature’s promiscuities. Billabongs are brimming full, bird calls reverberate across the shimmering water - all is well. The Murray in all its majesty, restored to its place in our hearts, is a playground for young and old. We reminisce, reflecting upon the days when the Murray was, as it is again, a pristine paradise – partying all night long; swimming at a sandbar called St Kilda Beach; holidays camping under ancient river red gums; tummies full of fish. Sunlight flashes in the haze of lazy summer days.

The Recipe (Serves 15)

Ingredients are gathered for authenticity from a ‘lets party’ picnic site near the Mildura cemetery and racecourse. But most are readily available on the supermarket shelves: 

12 cigarette butts (sliced)
700 grams of wet clay with shells & roots
1 cup of bottled acid sulfate
A splash of bong water
***Flavour enhancers:
1 - 3 bongs (power drink bottles preferred) Silver foil (to taste)
Cardboard (to taste, shredded)
1 McDonalds packaging (to taste, ripped)
1 plastic Coke bottle
Garnish: 2 grams of crushed dried gum leaves
Clay chips

8 litres (Murray River) water
1 pkt. of pipe & gasket lubricant
2 cups of Murray River salt
4 glass shards (clear or brown)
Grass roots
2 sheets of dunny paper (used)
1 crushed Coke can
1 cup blue-green algae (cyanobacteria)
A cup of horse dung with fungus Plastic miscellanea
2 beer bottle tops
2 cigarette lighters 

Heat to boiling, 6 litres of Murray River water in a large pot, stirring frequently (substitute Mount Franklin Spring water if Murray R. is not available):

Add:
1 packet of pipe & gasket lubricant
2 cups of Murray River salt
4 glass shards (smashed, clear &/or brown)
1 bunch of grass roots
2 sheets of dunny paper (used)
1 crushed Coke can
1 cup of preserved blue-green algae (cyanobacteria)
A cup of horse dung, with fungus

Crumble in:
700 grams of wet river bed clay textured with shells & roots

Simmer on a low heat. Gently stir in the following:
Plastic miscellanea
2 beer bottle tops
2 cigarette lighters
12 cigarette butts (sliced)
1 empty plastic Coke bottle with a drizzle of flat Coca Cola
1 cup of bottled acid sulphate
A splash of bong water

Remove from the heat.

***Optional Add flavour enhancers to taste: 1 - 3 bongs; silver foil (crushed); cardboard packaging (shredded); McDonalds packaging (ripped)

Stir ...
Carefully remove all bottles and bongs with tongs.
... then Serve