Murray River Punch: The Soup
Brunswick Street Gallery, Melbourne (2014)
Following the ‘droughts and flooding rains’ of the Naughties, the Mighty Murray has settled. Epicormic shoots hide the incidental splatter of dead trees - gentle reminders of Nature’s promiscuities. Billabongs are brimming full, bird calls reverberate across the shimmering water - all is well. The Murray in all its majesty, restored to its place in our hearts, is a playground for young and old. We reminisce, reflecting upon the days when the Murray was, as it is again, a pristine paradise – partying all night long; swimming at a sandbar called St Kilda Beach; holidays camping under ancient river red gums; tummies full of fish. Sunlight flashes in the haze of lazy summer days.
The Recipe (Serves 15)
Ingredients are gathered for authenticity from a ‘lets party’ picnic site near the Mildura cemetery and racecourse. But most are readily available on the supermarket shelves:
12 cigarette butts (sliced)
700 grams of wet clay with shells & roots
1 cup of bottled acid sulfate
A splash of bong water
***Flavour enhancers:
1 - 3 bongs (power drink bottles preferred) Silver foil (to taste)
Cardboard (to taste, shredded)
1 McDonalds packaging (to taste, ripped)
1 plastic Coke bottle
Garnish: 2 grams of crushed dried gum leaves
Clay chips
8 litres (Murray River) water
1 pkt. of pipe & gasket lubricant
2 cups of Murray River salt
4 glass shards (clear or brown)
Grass roots
2 sheets of dunny paper (used)
1 crushed Coke can
1 cup blue-green algae (cyanobacteria)
A cup of horse dung with fungus Plastic miscellanea
2 beer bottle tops
2 cigarette lighters
Heat to boiling, 6 litres of Murray River water in a large pot, stirring frequently (substitute Mount Franklin Spring water if Murray R. is not available):
Add:
1 packet of pipe & gasket lubricant
2 cups of Murray River salt
4 glass shards (smashed, clear &/or brown)
1 bunch of grass roots
2 sheets of dunny paper (used)
1 crushed Coke can
1 cup of preserved blue-green algae (cyanobacteria)
A cup of horse dung, with fungus
Crumble in:
700 grams of wet river bed clay textured with shells & roots
Simmer on a low heat. Gently stir in the following:
Plastic miscellanea
2 beer bottle tops
2 cigarette lighters
12 cigarette butts (sliced)
1 empty plastic Coke bottle with a drizzle of flat Coca Cola
1 cup of bottled acid sulphate
A splash of bong water
Remove from the heat.
***Optional Add flavour enhancers to taste: 1 - 3 bongs; silver foil (crushed); cardboard packaging (shredded); McDonalds packaging (ripped)
Stir ...
Carefully remove all bottles and bongs with tongs.
... then Serve